Tonight, after my daughter threw her tantrum at bed time, I was reading the secrets on postsecret.com. I don't normally visit that site any more because I don't have the time and I forget the site is there. The site also makes me sad.
There was one postcard that said, "I FEEL SO ALONE." And then in the middle of the secret it said, "MERRY CHRISTMAS."
The truth about this secret is that sometimes we do feel alone, but we are truly NEVER alone. For one God is ALWAYS watching (even if you don't believe it, you will when judgement day arrives). A second thing is that there are 7 billion+ people on this earth right now. If you feel lonely, chances are there are probably about a billion people feeling that way too. I don't know. How many emotions are there any way? If there are 20 emotions then there are still some number of millions of people feeling the way you are feeling. If you've lost your job, someone else did, too. If you are happy, someone else is, too. Scared, ditto.
Back to the tantrum, I threw one right along with my daughter (of course I threw mine starting at least 10 minutes after hers started). I had told her not to hit me in the face because she was tossing her dolly around and putting her finger in my face. I told her that if she hit me in the face again that I would leave the room. She hit me in the face with her dolly, so I left the room.
That started the tantrum.
After a couple of minutes and her running and screaming into the hallway, I took her back to her bed and laid down with her. I asked her, "WHAT do you want? (for the 15th time and in extreme frustration)."
Her answer blanky and pillow. She had both, so I'm not really sure what she was crying about at that point. I checked her over to make sure she didn't have anything physically wrong. Waited a couple minutes and tried to be near her.
I yelled, "QUIT CRYING." (I must say that was an extremely good move on my part [sarcasm]. So, I won't win mother of the year award for that.) Then the guilt set in.
I put on a change of attitude, remembering that she had her life as she knew it ripped from her 3 months ago, so I needed to change my attitude.
With her still crying (CROCODILE TEARS AND M-A-D), I held her against my chest. I stroked her hair and softly said, "Sssshhhh." My heart became gentle and tender and GUESS WHAT? So did hers. She softened, and calmed down and looked into my eyes. She put her hand in mine. Of course all of this wasn't instant, it probably took more like 1-2 minutes. She tossed a couple of times and then went to sleep with her hand in mine.
We'd had a good day today. I am working on controlling my emotions and not yell at my kids. Transitioning into 4 kids takes a bit of getting used to. I hope to have an even better day tomorrow. I want to be respectful to my kids and see things from their point of view. Being a parent isn't easy, but they are learning from me, so I need to teach them gentleness and self-control.
I had read someone's blog that we need to guide our children.
I need to be an example that leads them to God (to love), not away from Him (yelling and anger).
Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. Ephesians 6:4
If there is one job in life that I don't want to fail, it is raising my children. I love them all dearly, I need to show it and they need to know it.
Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it. Proverbs 22:6