We went to the Asian market yesterday.
First, Owen said, "Is everyone in here Mexican?". I said, "No, honey they're Asian."
Then I needed some help figuring out how to make the plum tea because the instructions were written in Korean. I asked the man working there, "Do you speak English?"
I am not sure if I should have asked, "Do you speak Korean?" Because he could have been Japanese and I was asking him to read Korean.
THEN as I check out, the NICE young man bows to me as a show of respect to an elder. I of course am so honored that I bowed my head back. I hope he wasn't offended.
All I can say is that it was very intimidating going to the market. I will venture back there again some day, but next time I'll have done a little more research first.
Saturday, December 24, 2011
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
Through the Eyes of Children
The other day my 4 children and their cousin were sitting around the snack table and Faith was eating seaweed. I had forgotten that their cousin, Evy (that's what the littles call him, sounds like Chevy), likes dried seaweed snacks also (probably even more than Faith does).
Owen (6 years old) said, "Ew, why does Evy like seaweed, too?"
I said, "Because they both come from the same place, South Korea."
He said (with amazement in his voice), "Oh, I didn't know Evy was adopted, too."
My 10 year old and I giggled. Evy has been home less than 2 years, but it amazes me that in the eyes of a child, my son didn't see the physical differences between the parents and the child. What a blessing to be a witness to that innocence.
Another really neat thing that happened recently is that my nephew has finally called me, "Aunt Chris." It was music to my ears. He is my nephew and he is loved, but it was important for me to give honor to his mother by insisting on him calling me by my name. This is important to me because it is important to me that my children call me Mommy and no one else.
God Bless.
Owen (6 years old) said, "Ew, why does Evy like seaweed, too?"
I said, "Because they both come from the same place, South Korea."
He said (with amazement in his voice), "Oh, I didn't know Evy was adopted, too."
My 10 year old and I giggled. Evy has been home less than 2 years, but it amazes me that in the eyes of a child, my son didn't see the physical differences between the parents and the child. What a blessing to be a witness to that innocence.
Another really neat thing that happened recently is that my nephew has finally called me, "Aunt Chris." It was music to my ears. He is my nephew and he is loved, but it was important for me to give honor to his mother by insisting on him calling me by my name. This is important to me because it is important to me that my children call me Mommy and no one else.
God Bless.
Sunday, December 11, 2011
One Truth About One Secret
Tonight, after my daughter threw her tantrum at bed time, I was reading the secrets on postsecret.com. I don't normally visit that site any more because I don't have the time and I forget the site is there. The site also makes me sad.
There was one postcard that said, "I FEEL SO ALONE." And then in the middle of the secret it said, "MERRY CHRISTMAS."
The truth about this secret is that sometimes we do feel alone, but we are truly NEVER alone. For one God is ALWAYS watching (even if you don't believe it, you will when judgement day arrives). A second thing is that there are 7 billion+ people on this earth right now. If you feel lonely, chances are there are probably about a billion people feeling that way too. I don't know. How many emotions are there any way? If there are 20 emotions then there are still some number of millions of people feeling the way you are feeling. If you've lost your job, someone else did, too. If you are happy, someone else is, too. Scared, ditto.
Back to the tantrum, I threw one right along with my daughter (of course I threw mine starting at least 10 minutes after hers started). I had told her not to hit me in the face because she was tossing her dolly around and putting her finger in my face. I told her that if she hit me in the face again that I would leave the room. She hit me in the face with her dolly, so I left the room.
That started the tantrum.
After a couple of minutes and her running and screaming into the hallway, I took her back to her bed and laid down with her. I asked her, "WHAT do you want? (for the 15th time and in extreme frustration)."
Her answer blanky and pillow. She had both, so I'm not really sure what she was crying about at that point. I checked her over to make sure she didn't have anything physically wrong. Waited a couple minutes and tried to be near her.
I yelled, "QUIT CRYING." (I must say that was an extremely good move on my part [sarcasm]. So, I won't win mother of the year award for that.) Then the guilt set in.
I put on a change of attitude, remembering that she had her life as she knew it ripped from her 3 months ago, so I needed to change my attitude.
With her still crying (CROCODILE TEARS AND M-A-D), I held her against my chest. I stroked her hair and softly said, "Sssshhhh." My heart became gentle and tender and GUESS WHAT? So did hers. She softened, and calmed down and looked into my eyes. She put her hand in mine. Of course all of this wasn't instant, it probably took more like 1-2 minutes. She tossed a couple of times and then went to sleep with her hand in mine.
We'd had a good day today. I am working on controlling my emotions and not yell at my kids. Transitioning into 4 kids takes a bit of getting used to. I hope to have an even better day tomorrow. I want to be respectful to my kids and see things from their point of view. Being a parent isn't easy, but they are learning from me, so I need to teach them gentleness and self-control.
I had read someone's blog that we need to guide our children.
I need to be an example that leads them to God (to love), not away from Him (yelling and anger).
Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. Ephesians 6:4
If there is one job in life that I don't want to fail, it is raising my children. I love them all dearly, I need to show it and they need to know it.
Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it. Proverbs 22:6
There was one postcard that said, "I FEEL SO ALONE." And then in the middle of the secret it said, "MERRY CHRISTMAS."
The truth about this secret is that sometimes we do feel alone, but we are truly NEVER alone. For one God is ALWAYS watching (even if you don't believe it, you will when judgement day arrives). A second thing is that there are 7 billion+ people on this earth right now. If you feel lonely, chances are there are probably about a billion people feeling that way too. I don't know. How many emotions are there any way? If there are 20 emotions then there are still some number of millions of people feeling the way you are feeling. If you've lost your job, someone else did, too. If you are happy, someone else is, too. Scared, ditto.
Back to the tantrum, I threw one right along with my daughter (of course I threw mine starting at least 10 minutes after hers started). I had told her not to hit me in the face because she was tossing her dolly around and putting her finger in my face. I told her that if she hit me in the face again that I would leave the room. She hit me in the face with her dolly, so I left the room.
That started the tantrum.
After a couple of minutes and her running and screaming into the hallway, I took her back to her bed and laid down with her. I asked her, "WHAT do you want? (for the 15th time and in extreme frustration)."
Her answer blanky and pillow. She had both, so I'm not really sure what she was crying about at that point. I checked her over to make sure she didn't have anything physically wrong. Waited a couple minutes and tried to be near her.
I yelled, "QUIT CRYING." (I must say that was an extremely good move on my part [sarcasm]. So, I won't win mother of the year award for that.) Then the guilt set in.
I put on a change of attitude, remembering that she had her life as she knew it ripped from her 3 months ago, so I needed to change my attitude.
With her still crying (CROCODILE TEARS AND M-A-D), I held her against my chest. I stroked her hair and softly said, "Sssshhhh." My heart became gentle and tender and GUESS WHAT? So did hers. She softened, and calmed down and looked into my eyes. She put her hand in mine. Of course all of this wasn't instant, it probably took more like 1-2 minutes. She tossed a couple of times and then went to sleep with her hand in mine.
We'd had a good day today. I am working on controlling my emotions and not yell at my kids. Transitioning into 4 kids takes a bit of getting used to. I hope to have an even better day tomorrow. I want to be respectful to my kids and see things from their point of view. Being a parent isn't easy, but they are learning from me, so I need to teach them gentleness and self-control.
I had read someone's blog that we need to guide our children.
I need to be an example that leads them to God (to love), not away from Him (yelling and anger).
Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. Ephesians 6:4
If there is one job in life that I don't want to fail, it is raising my children. I love them all dearly, I need to show it and they need to know it.
Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it. Proverbs 22:6
Saturday, December 3, 2011
February 2011 South Korean Dol
I was overjoyed to find these pictures (3 of 10) below in my mail yesterday. Here is a picture of my precious little girl for her Dol (1st Birthday) in South Korea.
I am in search of the other adoptive parents of these 2 children. If you know who they might be, please let me know. The picture was taken at the Holt celebration. This picture again was taken in February 2011, so it would have been babies born in South Korea in February 2010. I have blocked out the faces of the 2 babies that aren't mine along with one of the baby's foster mother.
I am in search of the other adoptive parents of these 2 children. If you know who they might be, please let me know. The picture was taken at the Holt celebration. This picture again was taken in February 2011, so it would have been babies born in South Korea in February 2010. I have blocked out the faces of the 2 babies that aren't mine along with one of the baby's foster mother.
Friday, December 2, 2011
3 years and 3 months
Mr. Liam Caelan has been with us for 3 years yesterday. He was a dream baby (he didn't cry much). He is an extremely laid back child and smart. I love him bunches.
He is funny and reminds me a little bit of the character Sheldon on "Big Bang Theory." He has "his spot" on the couch.
Faith has been with me for 3 months today. Here is our baby girl and this is what she is doing right at this moment. She doesn't like blankets very much, but the blanket she has on her is the "MY" blanket. She won't sleep under any other at home. The little baby doll in the lower left is the same one I took to Korea when I met her and it has been her favorite ever since.
People are amazed at how well she understands me. She says several words and she likes to imitate, so I've really got to be careful what I do. The words she says lately are: no, yes, pillow, blanket, eat, nice and LET ME (H)AVE IT. We are working on having her lower her voice and asking politely with a please and thank you. My ultimate, favorite phrase is: "LUV YOU." Said with her little voice inflection.
She has had some nights of grieving lately. She rolls all around in her sleep on her bed and onto the floor (the mattress is on the floor, so she doesn't fall far). She was sick with a fever a week ago, followed by a cold with some big, snotty sneezes. I think she has had some extra difficulty due to the holiday family get togethers and over stimulation.
She has also had some bumps and bruises lately. First, she was playing with Owen. He was giving her a piggy-back ride and I told him to be careful because she doesn't understand to hold on. Right after that she fell off and bit her lip. Then, she was playing with her Dad's shoe and a light saber toy and fell on it and skinned her chin on the toy and bit her tongue. I am thankful that she likes ice. I shrunk some ice and put it in her mouth to stop the bleeding. Her third accident is when Aiden didn't know she had her hand on the door jam. He shut the door on her finger. I told her with tears in my eyes and a lump in my throat that that is enough getting hurt. She is ONE TOUGH COOKIE and barely cried in any of the 3 instances.
She has taken on what I call, "the throwing of the tantrums" (another thing possibly linked to grieving, but also to being a toddler). She cries louder and harder during one of these than when she is actually physically hurt. She also sometimes bangs her head on the floor or wall when she is throwing one of these tantrums. I can see her frustration when mommy either doesn't understand or will not give into what she wants.
She has grown SO much since she has come home. She was in 18 months when she came home and now she is almost growing out of some of her 2T things. I am blessed that she is a good eater. She does have some dislikes, but at least the likes outnumber the dislikes (unlike my 6 year old whose diet would consist of mac and cheese and hot dogs if I let him).
We live in a rural area, so we don't have a lot of Asian type food in our area. My SIL told me about these Seaweed snacks that are sold at a grocery store about an hour away. So a few days ago went to the "fancy" grocery store and picked her up some seaweed snacks. Her eyes lit up and you couldn't give it to her fast enough. So, I'm thinking stocking stuffer for sure.
I am very thankful she is home and is continuing to do well. We have to work through a few things, but what family doesn't? I yearn for the day when she sees this as her home, too. Please continue to pray that she has joy in her heart and is able to accept us as her own.
He is funny and reminds me a little bit of the character Sheldon on "Big Bang Theory." He has "his spot" on the couch.
Faith has been with me for 3 months today. Here is our baby girl and this is what she is doing right at this moment. She doesn't like blankets very much, but the blanket she has on her is the "MY" blanket. She won't sleep under any other at home. The little baby doll in the lower left is the same one I took to Korea when I met her and it has been her favorite ever since.
People are amazed at how well she understands me. She says several words and she likes to imitate, so I've really got to be careful what I do. The words she says lately are: no, yes, pillow, blanket, eat, nice and LET ME (H)AVE IT. We are working on having her lower her voice and asking politely with a please and thank you. My ultimate, favorite phrase is: "LUV YOU." Said with her little voice inflection.
She has had some nights of grieving lately. She rolls all around in her sleep on her bed and onto the floor (the mattress is on the floor, so she doesn't fall far). She was sick with a fever a week ago, followed by a cold with some big, snotty sneezes. I think she has had some extra difficulty due to the holiday family get togethers and over stimulation.
She has also had some bumps and bruises lately. First, she was playing with Owen. He was giving her a piggy-back ride and I told him to be careful because she doesn't understand to hold on. Right after that she fell off and bit her lip. Then, she was playing with her Dad's shoe and a light saber toy and fell on it and skinned her chin on the toy and bit her tongue. I am thankful that she likes ice. I shrunk some ice and put it in her mouth to stop the bleeding. Her third accident is when Aiden didn't know she had her hand on the door jam. He shut the door on her finger. I told her with tears in my eyes and a lump in my throat that that is enough getting hurt. She is ONE TOUGH COOKIE and barely cried in any of the 3 instances.
She has taken on what I call, "the throwing of the tantrums" (another thing possibly linked to grieving, but also to being a toddler). She cries louder and harder during one of these than when she is actually physically hurt. She also sometimes bangs her head on the floor or wall when she is throwing one of these tantrums. I can see her frustration when mommy either doesn't understand or will not give into what she wants.
She has grown SO much since she has come home. She was in 18 months when she came home and now she is almost growing out of some of her 2T things. I am blessed that she is a good eater. She does have some dislikes, but at least the likes outnumber the dislikes (unlike my 6 year old whose diet would consist of mac and cheese and hot dogs if I let him).
We live in a rural area, so we don't have a lot of Asian type food in our area. My SIL told me about these Seaweed snacks that are sold at a grocery store about an hour away. So a few days ago went to the "fancy" grocery store and picked her up some seaweed snacks. Her eyes lit up and you couldn't give it to her fast enough. So, I'm thinking stocking stuffer for sure.
I am very thankful she is home and is continuing to do well. We have to work through a few things, but what family doesn't? I yearn for the day when she sees this as her home, too. Please continue to pray that she has joy in her heart and is able to accept us as her own.
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