So, I'll be honest with y'all. This week has been a heartbreaking week for me. I know that a majority of people will not understand where I am coming from. I have countless blessings. This was a hard week because we found out that it might not be until the end of July until Faith comes home (or later because we have no concrete idea of timing in the adoption world). We weren't submitted for an Emigration Permit in April.
If you grew up with me, you know that I am an expert at whining. My mantra as a child was, "it's not FAY- YER." I didn't stomp my feet physically on Wednesday, but I did cry some crocodile tears. I asked my Mom, "Why does God choose such hard things for me?" I tried extremely hard not to cry. I tried to keep my emotions in check. I had to call my sister and my SIL (she's been through it), too.
My whole being KNOWS to trust in God. TRUST in His timing. But my heart was just sad. I yearn for my baby girl. I don't want her to be a full blown toddler by the time she gets here. I want my boys to have time to attach and bond with her before they have to go back to school.
I know from the time that I was battling with infertility (prior to my first born son) that the long wait is worth it.
I praise God for the other women who are going through the same trials as I am and/or have gone through them before me.
I'll stomp my feet because God CHOSE me. Isn't that fantastic? God chose our family to be Faith's family. God chose Faith to be our child. She may not be in my arms yet, but she was mine from the day I first saw her. I will lean on Him. She'll be here when He wants her to be here.
I can't wait until I get to STOMP MY FEET WITH JOY, with her in my arms. We'll dance. I can't wait to praise God as I watch her sleeping, as I hold her when she's sick, as I watch her laugh and play, and through the rough stuff that comes with being a parent. I hope you'll STOMP your feet with joy when she comes home, too.
So, I'll wait and BELIEVE in the promises of God.
Psalm 25:3 Indeed, none of those who wait for You will be ashamed;
Those who deal treacherously without cause will be ashamed.
I have the joy, joy, joy, joy down in my heart.
Down in my heart.
Down in my heart. . .